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Violence Within the Violin

from Socially Just by Nomis

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lyrics

12. Violence Within the Violin
V1:
its hard to admit but I've got issues that are irking me/
but first heres some perspective of my life out here on Mercury/
my main supporters aint from Dopeboyz or Rapzilla/
'cause my raps are more Macklemore than Mineo and Mac Miller/
and thats not a co-sign for Mack or diss to Min and Miller both/
its more about the social aspect in my rap as an approach/
I found I had a passion for the broken and it stuck with me/
not coming out through rapping for me just wasn't a luxury/
words formed, I wrote songs and felt the Lord was honored/
but he didn't bless it how I expected that had me ponder/
so I figured, "I guess the world aint ready yet"/
but when they start asking for Human Trafficking raps Im here already set/
next thing you know Im seeing all these songs and poems/
most the artists weren't established, but a few of them I know 'em/
and ya'll get recognition now for knowing?/
man I wrote those bars years ago, this must be how it feels for Leonard Cohen/
a San Diego visionary like Im Dannu/
my platform wasn't large enough I started acting brand new/
and honestly in hindsight, I really think the fam knew/
a Dream Junkie showed me his poem and I tried to ban Ru/
from spitting that Trafficking piece that he created/
like I had a monopoly on everything justice related/
I tasted and started to smell the fumes of that bitterness/
I was consumed by my bitterness/
the sooner I admitted it, the sooner I could fly again/
it shot me to my core I really considered retiring/
you can hear the violence within the violin/
another rapper falling victim to entitlement/

HOOK:
Shameful when i'm looking back, painful from the memory/
confusion it was sent to be my enemy (20/20)/
shameful when I'm looking back, painful from the memory/
community was sent to be my centerpiece (20/20)/
it never bothered me the growth of awareness/
why was I bothered when they spoke I'm embarrassed (20/20)/
I never minded if other people said it/
in hindsight I was blinded because I wasnt getting any credit/

V2:
so there I was forced to step back and view myself/
I hated what I saw I can believe I'd loose myself/
in 2008 for me was the start of it/
educated myself on the issue and grew a heart for it/
that same year, I put my art to it/
and wrote, "On Behalf of the Silenced" I just wanted to play my part in it/
nothing was more important than building the movement/
and perfect timing 'cause that time my rhyming skills were improving/
and I can honestly say, the mission never left essential/
but that full time rapper grind is a killer when the rents due/
it adds a certain pressure that music was never meant to/
so without the bills this might've been something I never went through/
but no more excuses, I'm done with the scapegoats/
how dare I complain, my little place has got a gate code/
my heart crossed hand on a bible I'll say I'm grateful/
but its hard to show the darkest parts of me because I hate those/
do you know how much it makes me boil/
when they progress the cause and I respond as if un-joyful/
do you know how hard it is to admit/
that you've let your ego in but you pretend it don't exist/
well im done with it I'm free from it/
look back and I see from it/
learn now how to flee from it/
may he summit and me plummet/
no more of "me" homie we've done it/
shout to every artist out who's ever reaped from it/
I celebrate your work we've got the same assignment/
in the same gang, same goal, maybe different environment/
I embrace the violence within the violin/
never again will be a victim of entitlement/

HOOK:
Shameful when i'm looking back, painful from the memory/
confusion it was sent to be my enemy (20/20)/
shameful when I'm looking back, painful from the memory/
community was sent to be my centerpiece (20/20)/
it never bothered me the growth of awareness/
why was I bothered when they spoke I'm embarrassed (20/20)/
I think I minded that your way was accepted/
my hindsight has given new life and some proper perspective/

credits

from Socially Just, released November 13, 2015
Produced by DJ Rek

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